How To Avoid The Vanishing Social Bubble Phenomenon

It’s not something that you’re usually prepared for. You don’t take any exit seminars when you graduate from college that warn you about this phenomenon but you need to be aware of it or else you’re going to end up in a sad, sad place. What I’m talking about is what I like to call the Vanishing Social Bubble Phenomenon.

It’s easy to be a social creature when you’re in college. You can pretty much classify everyone you meet as a roommate, suite mate, floor mate, dorm mate, classmate, or potential mate. In all seriousness, though, college is probably the biggest population you’ll ever be immersed in for a prolonged period so when that resource is suddenly and unknowingly depleted, you’re going to feel ill at ease and lonely for quite some time. So what can you do about it?

1. Prepare yourself. You’re already one step ahead of the curve if you’ve mentally prepared yourself for this moment.  At least then you won’t be all panicky, prone to hyperventilation and random bouts of paranoia and feelings of impotence. You’ll probably already be in touch with a couple of your closer friends (frat brothers, roommates etc.) but if you want to keep in touch with anyone beyond that, good luck. Chances are, you’ve moved home for the time being, or you’re living with a roommate you met off Craigslist and that’s all you got going for you. If you’re able, send out feelers to see if you can make any last minute connections before you’ve left college but don’t be dismayed if you can’t. There is always hope!

2. Look for common ground. So how can you keep the friends that you already have? As you yourself stumble through your own life and are inexplicable changed, others are doing so at the same time. Your buddies from college that you thought would be there for you through thick and thin might be almost impossible to relate to by now and you’ll find yourself wondering why you’re even still friends at all. Reminiscing about your glory days in college can only upkeep your relationship so far. There comes a time in life when keg stands, sexual conquests and mutual flunkings of classes don’t hold as much weight as before. People long for meaningful relationship and if all you’ve got going for you in a friendship are muddy recollections of inebriated havoc, then you should really reconsider whether or not that friendship is worth the time and effort. Find that common ground, that means to deeper relationship. A relationship that pays dividends is one that is thoughful and grounded.

3. Be intentional. You’re never going to connect with any of your coworkers on a meaningful level if you’re never dilly-dallying around the water cooler. As superficial and unappealing as small talk around the local watering hole sounds, the connections that you’re able to establish, even on a superficial level, can become something much more gratifying. Be intentional in everything you do and everywhere you go to meet people. This is more for the introverts (Myers Briggs) out there that have to very deliberately prepare themselves for situations like this. Carry on! If you want to extend your social influence, you’ll need to start somewhere!

4. Try something new! You can’t expect to meet and connect with new people if you’re doing the same old thing over and over again. Work, home, work, home, work, home. The cycle never ceases but that doesn’t mean your desire to socialize has to cease. Think of places and activities that interest you. If you’re a fitness buff, go to the gym. Even if you’re not a fitness buff, you should probably still go to the gym. Join a book club if you enjoy reading. Take some classes at the community center. Join an intramural basketball league. Heck, even go to church! Do something you normally wouldn’t do and you’ll definitely meet people you normally wouldn’t meet!

If you feel your sphere of influence or circle of friends is rapidly diminishing, you’re probably experiencing the Vanishing Social Bubble Phenomenon. Prepare yourself accordingly and you’ll be able to bear the brunt of the storm and come out relatively unscathed!

Where do you find yourself meeting lots of new and interesting people?  Share the wealth!